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“When life gives you lemons you should think about buying a new car.”

Painting of Tom Hoeflich

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The Latest News

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No Laughing Here

laughWe agree with Turkey’s Deputy Prime Minister Bulent Arinc in principle when he says that women should not laugh too loudly in public, but feel the caveat should be extended to everyone. Aside from the blatantly misogynistic aspect of his suggestion, the recommendation that laughter and mirth be constrained in public has a basis in common decency. Who among us [... Continue reading No Laughing Here ]

WomenAgainstFeminism

beautyEven in these modern days, the times of unisex bathrooms and girdles for dudes of advanced age and advancing waistlines it should be understood that the feminists are wrong, men and women are not equal. Women got a shape way different than men, thank goodness. Men lumber, knuckles adrag, scratching, snorting, huffing and pooting, knocking stuff asunder and leaving bad smells. Women [... Continue reading WomenAgainstFeminism ]

Google and the Right to be Forgotten

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhat inane nonsense will those silly Europeans dream up next? First it was Oktoberfest, just a beer and brat party by another name. The only way a grown man can be coerced into prancing about in lederhosen is with a large stein of suds. Then they came up with caber tossing, highland games and the hammer throw. The only way [... Continue reading Google and the Right to be Forgotten ]

Green Eyed Monster

dog4Jealousy, the green eyed monster, (lookit up), has now reared it’s ugly head in the most disturbing place. Yep, your dog is jealous. He’s jealous of the better food you eat, he hates it when your friends hug you, he wants to drive your car, he wishes he had an Iphone and he hates to see you leave for work [... Continue reading Green Eyed Monster ]

CDC Spokesman Wants To Release Anthrax

CDC Spokesman Wants To Release Anthrax

Recent news from the Centers For Disease Control and the National Institute of Health has sent newsrooms around the world into a frenzy, predicting the end of the human race at our own hands. Live smallpox cultures were discovered in a decades old storage unit, posing a severe threat to anyone exposed and the possibility of an outbreak. Improper handling of anthrax cultures and the virulent bird flu [... Continue reading CDC Spokesman Wants To Release Anthrax ]

Most Not Comfortable In Their Own Skin

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w6IY0v-0pA&feature=kp”

sadistWhy is solitary confinement so effective? Why are all those people in the store walking around talking to themselves? Is a loud salloon the best place to mull over a beer all by your lonesome? Science now has the answer, and it’s shocking, literally. When left alone with nothing to do, people will do anything to alleviate the boredom, including harming themselves. [... Continue reading Most Not Comfortable In Their Own Skin ]

FAA Declares Paper Airplanes Subject To Regulation

paper airplaneFollowing their recent decision declaring drone aircraft as subject to regulation, the Federal Aviation Administration has broadened it’s scope to include all objects capable of a flight longer than that of their normal duration of airtime while subject to gravitational forces. As such, a rock, snowball, popsicle, tennis ball or body would not fall under its jurisdiction, while a [... Continue reading FAA Declares Paper Airplanes Subject To Regulation ]

Snack Food Diet to Lose Weight

before afterThe old story goes that if you put some in a bowl and poured milk over it you’d get as much nutrition from eating the cereal box as you would from the cereal itself and milk. It was anecdotes like this, along with several others that set young food scientist McRuthers Carson on a path that may well make him a [... Continue reading Snack Food Diet to Lose Weight ]

World Is Flat! Bigfoot Real! Dogs Smart!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM_G7D6ZOSU”

duhRead this article in The New York Times and if you aren’t left scratching your head in wonderment then you are most likely just scratching your posterior and sniffing your pits. In summary it follows scientific studies that show that when a belief and a fact contradict each other, many are inclined to stick with the belief. So if the [... Continue reading World Is Flat! Bigfoot Real! Dogs Smart! ]

Celebrity Stalker Joan Rivers Crazy

j riversCelebrity stalker and plastic surgery devotee Joan Rivers is either crazy like a taut 81 year old fox or just plain crazy like a frypan full of peppermint castile soap and spoiled trout. Recent comments from the silver haired gossip that President Obama is gay and his wife Michelle is a ‘tranny’ were either a well plotted effort on [... Continue reading Celebrity Stalker Joan Rivers Crazy ]

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