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“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin”

Global Warming, Get Used To It

global warmingAll the dire warnings about global warming may not be so bad after all. What if a climate change means things get better. “For as long as mankind has populated the earth most of the habitable landmasses with climates favorable to our species have been situated in a narrow belt centered around the equator.” anthropologist Gus Fring, (no relation to the character in the Breaking Bad tv show) says. “We inhabit and prosper in what are known as the temperate zones. Too close to the equator it becomes hot and dry, bad conditions for a species whose makeup is 90% water. Too far north or south and it’s too cold for our species for about the same reason, we freeze.” Fring adds. “It is likely that all the gloom and doom forecasts have got it wrong. Yes, the areas we inhabit will become more intolerable to us, low lying areas will flood, dry areas will become drier, weather patterns will change but some areas will benefit from these global alterations.” He continues. “Think of the Russian steppes, Siberia for example. Located in the high northern latitudes its landscape and resources would be similar to America’s Montana and North Dakota if situated a few degrees more south. Or, at the extreme, Antaritica, which is so cold it had no resident population of humans until scientists and researchers braved the conditions in state-of-the-art dwellings. With the changes that are currently predicted, areas of the Antarctic  could become as livable as New Zealand, which isn’t that far away.”

Fring, an anthropologist specializing in human adaptation at the University of Washington in Seattle, notes that as the earths most adaptable species it may be wrong to look at climate change as a bad thing, better to think of it as just another challenge to mankind. “People are either optimists or pessimists in about equal numbers.” He says. “Maybe we should stop fighting it and just go with the flow.”

Florida Woman Releases Photos of ‘Grey Alien’

A Fort Meyers Beach, Florida woman has released some photographs of what she calls grey aliens. “I began hearing a couple voices in 2015,” she said.  “They started as murmurs and finally full blown communication,” The Floridian has told numerous sources that since the “communications began,” objects have started to come up missing from her house. “Currently, over 400 items (that I can list and have proof of owning most, picture, receipt) have vanished. When it first started, I hadn’t seen anything, and would call the cops for stuff like an entire shopping bag from Target of brand new items vanishing. They never believed me.” The 3 pictures, taken with an iPhone, are outdoor images with a humanoid figure hiding behind different places. “The last year I have taken so many pictures of these grey aliens,” explains the woman. “It is literally unreal.”

 

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Is there an alien here?

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An ominous figure hides behind the thick vegetation in this photograph from 2015.

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A “grey alien” with big black eyes and thin nostrils shows its face through a screen door in this 2015 photograph.

She says the greys have been nothing but trouble. “The police never believed me. I was constantly put in the hospital and am still looked at as semi-crazy by the social networking world. I eventually got an investigator on the case, but the calls never went through, and he eventually sent a certified letter saying he had dropped the case because of no communication,” she says. The woman claims that they have taken total control of her surroundings and strange things are happening with her pets. “My dogs failure to mature. I endure a daily torture, there is constant communication.” She says the aliens “can appear as almost anything” and orbs are sometimes seen “flying toward” the creatures. “They have large heads and big dark eyes. Once I thought I saw myself, but I was passing through a closed door. I have a picture of a figure that looks human and like me,” she explains. And it looks she is not the first one in her family to have reportedly experienced this. “My entire life, my mom was talking to something… she was eventually killed after starting menopause at 52. She would hide things in the craziest places, behind clocks…”

Fort Myers Beach is a town located in Estero Island and has a population of 6,300. Police are looking into why some of the womans missing items have turned up in a pawn shop owned by the man pictured below.

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‘Bigfoot’ Sighting in Northern Ireland

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A couple claim they saw an ape-like creature in a wooded area in northern Ireland.

63-year-old Caroline Breen said she and her husband were walking their dogs in Ballyboley Forest when they spotted it.

“We approached a small patch of dead trees one day when we caught sight of something crouched behind the bushes,” she explains. “We thought at first it was a human, but as it raised its head in the air, we saw it.”

Breen said her husband walked towards the creature and it growled at him.

The creature reportedly was carrying a stick and it “smashed the stick against the tree” before taking off at high speed.

She described it as having a chimpanzee-like face but with a “broader nose” and it was covered in “dark brown black fur”. The animal was approximately 8 feet tall.

When she reported the sighting to the local constable he scoffed, saying “That was probably MacGuffy, he’s a nudist what lives up there.”

 

 

Don’t Eat These Foods, Starve Instead.

woman eatingA grade school field trip to a large food processing plant should be enough to have given anyone the heebie jeebies about industrially processed  foods. Vats of yellowish glop as big as railcars moving slowly by, led by grizzled old men in hair nets who flick their cigarette ashes  on the floor, huge complicated machines that spin and knead and portion and bake the items that are later wrapped in cellophane by equally Rube Goldberg – like contraptions  operated by scrawny, meth addicted toothless women of an indeterminate age who obliviously pick at their hair. It should be enough to put anyone out in the garden to grow their own fruits and veggies. Even a visit to the kitchen of a local restaurant, where the big bellied chef alternates between flipping the steaks and scratching his yarbels  would have a person cooking at home. But wait, don’t be so quick to condemn, without mass produced, institutionally produced food we’d all starve.

Patrick Wainright is more than just a scientist and lobbyist for Con Agra, he’s a certified nut, (his own words) about spreading the word about how important the advances of modern farming and food production are. “Without industry’s involvement in foodstuffs, the worlds population would be less than one fifth of what it is today.” he said, swiveling his gray lab-stool around from the tray of pipettes he had been using for samples of a dye he’s testing that could replace the current, carcinogenic tincture used to give maraschino cherries their distinct, bright red hue. “Think back a hundred years ago. Only the rich were fat, the average person was thin, and hungry. Just look at the photos of groups of enlisted men from World War II. Out of thirty or forty men, most of them appear malnourished. And remember that the population of the earth was very much smaller then and there still wasn’t enough food to go around.” he added as he returned to his work.

The data backs him up. In 1920 the an average adult weighed 93 lbs. That’s the global average, taking into account all sexes, statures and races. In the US, which had only begun to track such statistics, the average male weighed in at 122 lbs and the average female at 103lbs. Today’s figures put the global average at 126 lbs for males, 114 lbs for women. and US men average about 188 lbs and women about 137 lbs, (Persons in the southern US skew the average by tipping the scales at 417 for men and 392 for women.).

And his remarks about the global population benefiting from advances in food science are borne out as well. The world’s population was less than 200 million in 1900 and is almost 800 million today and climbing fast, driven largely by increased food production and advances in technology. So feel free to putz around in your garden this spring and harvest a few lettuce leaves and scallions for a salad but remember when you flip a chicken breast on the grill and garnish it with rosemary that it was all made possible because the chicken is less than six weeks old, raised in a cage that never saw daylight and was fed ground up everything nothing else would eat, including the remnants of it’s own brethren along with loads of growth hormones even Lyle Alzado would have condemned.

 

 

Gimme A Break! Woman Demands Free KitKats for Life Due to Missing Ingredient

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A second year King’s College student from the UK named Saima Ahmad is getting noticed on the internet today.  After she bought an 8-pack of KitKats, she has demanded that she get a lifetime supply for free.  Why?  Because the pack she bought was missing the wafers.

 

According to Yahoo News, she wrote a letter to Nestle with her demands.

 

She wrote, “The truth of the matter is; manufacturers owe a duty of care to consumers. The specific duty you owe in consistency in your manufacturing process. The failure to take due care in the manufacturing process resulted in a product being defective.”

 

“The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance,” she continued.

 

Not only does she want a full refund, she says she “wouldn’t rule out taking this further” if Nestle doesn’t apologize and compesate her “adequately”.

 

She believes Nestle is in the wrong, referencing forum posts from other people with similar complaints against the company about missing the necessary crunch.

 

“Nestle has a huge following and I don’t think these mistakes are acceptable,” she says. “I’m trying my luck, if you don’t ask you don’t get.”

Malheur Protesters Kill, Eat Protected Waterfowl

Malheur hunt2Protesters occupying the Malheur wildlife refuge in remote eastern Oregon have been killing and eating the waterfowl the reserve was created to protect. Two weeks in the novelty of the anti-government occupation has worn off as bitter cold temperatures and meager rations have had an impact on morale. The men came north to protest the treatment of two ranchers who were convicted of setting wildfires in the sensitive habitat of the reserve. The protesters, led by Ammon and brother Ryan Bundy, scions of Nevada scoflaw rancher Cliven Bundy who infamously has refused to pay grazing fees on the cattle he ranges on BLM land began hunting the Malheur’s protected birds when their dogs were running low on Ol Roy dog food. Faced with having to desert their command and run to town to keep the hounds fed, Ammon and Ryan took one look at the proliferation of guns and ammo they had brought to the party and both had the same thought, “We can manage these resources way better than them government wildlife scientists can!” whistled up the mutts and went for a stroll on the boardwalk. Too eager, most of the early duck they shot were just mallards and gadwalls, but good enough for the dogs. Soon all the protesters were dining on duck and canadian goose. The birds at the refuge were unfazed by the gunfire, accustomed to being harmlessly observed by the tourists, international and local, who normally stroll the elevated walkway casually observing and checking new species in their life lists, and failed to take wing. But after a couple of days of pot-shotting by the Bundys and their rough and ready cohorts most of the birds took flight. Hunting became more of what is expected in the rest of the continent, the game was wary and only the restricted species, which are used to being overlooked were left, defenseless. The protesters have now commandeered the portable blinds once used by the research biologists and are laying in wait for trumpeter swan, north Americas largest waterfowl, it looks as big as a carnival ride afloat and a B-52 flying by, and are hoping to feast on roast swan soon.

The protesters have stated that they will stay as long as needed for the government to accede to their demands, which include:

  • Freeing the two Oregon ranchers convicted of arson. ( Who do not agree with the protesters and are currently serving their prison sentences.)
  • Returning control of all public lands in the US to the states and regional authorities where they are situated so they can be bought, abused and plundered as is man’s god given right to do
  • Cessation of persecution of their father, Cliven Bundy so he can continue to sell pizza and make a profit running cattle when other honest ranchers are unable to do so.
  • A continual, rotating bus tour of visitors from the Las Vegas Strip, male and female between the ages of eighteen and twenty four along with soap, towels and liquor for the protesters at each visit.
  • Cancellation of the debt for the $530,ooo SBA loan Ammon Bundy took out  in 2010 for his Arizona-based truck maintenance company, Valet Fleet Services
  • Hostess Snowballs, they are wanting some dessert with their duck

‘Free the Nipple’ Campaign Slipping Out Into Public View

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Over the last year or so, a campaign has started on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, called Free the Nipple has pushed for gender equality and is taking the internet by storm and generating many publicity stunts, peaceful protests, and court cases challenging city and state laws on the matter.

While men and women may be different in many ways, we both share the same appearance…except our nether regions.  However, men and women have one major part of the body in common. Nipples. So, why has one been censored and the other is as normal to our culture as bare feet?

Lina Esco, founder of Free the Nipple, says the movement does not advocate women being topless all the time, its goal is simply to change public perception of women’s bodies and to highlight the blatant gender inequality.

The movement points out everyday occasions that a woman might casually remove her top such as sunbathing at the beach, in the park, or in her own backyard, breastfeeding her child, to cool down in extreme heat, or simply to change from one shirt into another.

In the 1930s, going shirtless in public was as shocking a sight for men as it is for women today. It was not until 4 men walked through Coney Island bare-chested to bring attention to the issue that public opinion swayed.

Currently, it is illegal for women to be topless in public in 35 states, and in 5 of those states women are not allowed to breastfeed their babies in public. There is not a single law on the books in America saying that men can’t.

 

Possible Mothman Sighting in Illinois?

Old drawing from a witnesses description of Mothman

Old drawing from a witnesses description of Mothman

NORMAL, Ill–A man claims to have seen what looked like a human flying around in Illinois.

The man, who wished to remain anonymous, said Monday that he was outside his home in McLean County waiting to watch the Taurid meteor shower last November around midnight when he saw it.

“I turned out the lights so it would get dark,” he wrote. “I waited for about 5 or 10 minutes and I saw my first fireball, but I only saw one or two small ones.”

He was about to go back inside when he saw “something” coming toward him.

“Couldn’t make out what it was. Not knowing what it was or what to expect, I started to get a better look at this thing, but my mind and eyes wouldn’t let me accept what I was seeing. It glided straight over my porch with roof, so I jumped up and ran to south end of porch. Waiting for it to come on over there.”

The source, who claims he’s a pilot, said it was about 20 feet wide and had “something hanging down underneath.”

“It had no lights, made no noise, seem to be gliding. I can judge pretty well how high something is, and by judging with that, if it were a plane I could have read the numbers on it,” he said. “I could see it! It seem to adjust for gliding but had no known propulsion. Stayed even keel, same elevation, same speed, same direction.”

He added that the being, which he compared to Mothman, had no head.

“I could see the legs and dark brown wings,” he explained.

The Mothman was reportedly first seen on November, 12, 1966 in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. The original report stated that five men were digging a grave at the local cemetery when they saw it. Three days later, two different couples reported seeing a “flying human” with red-glowing eyes chasing their vehicles.

According to cryptozoological literature, the creature is believed to be able to predict upcoming events that have the potential to impact human life.

The city of Normal, originally named North Bloomington, has a population of 53,000 and is the home of the Central Illinois Regional Airport.

 

St. Louis To Lose Rams to Los Angeles in 2016

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The Rams have been in St. Louis for 20 years now, but today, they return home to Los Angeles.  Owners of the teams voted to allow the Rams to move from St. Louis to Inglewood, California.  NFL owners also gave the San Diego Chargers the option to join the Rams if they can work out a deal to share the planned stadium, or $100 million to help finance a stadium in San Diego.

The vote came after years of negotiations within the group.

The Rams are expected to play their home games next season at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum while the Inglewood stadium, estimated to cost around $2 billion and scheduled to open in 2019, is under construction.

David Bowie Loses Battle With Cancer at 69

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Singer and part-time actor David Bowie, one of the most influential musicians of his time, has lost his fight with cancer.  He died on Sunday after an 18-month battle at the age of 69.

A statement posted on his social media accounts said “David Bowie died peacefully today surrounded by his family after a courageous 18 month battle with cancer. While many of you will share in this loss, we ask that you respect the family’s privacy during their time of grief.”

Neither his publicist nor the statement elaborated on what kind of cancer the singer was fighting.

“Genius is an overused word but I think musically, creatively, artistically, David Bowie was a genius,” British Prime Minister David Cameron stated to the press. “He was a master of reinvention, and one of the things that’s so incredible is almost all his reinventions were incredible successes and worked brilliantly. And so we mourn the loss of a great talent.”

Bowie had just released his latest album, “Blackstar,” on Friday, his 69th birthday. It reached No. 1 on the iTunes chart in the UK and No. 2 in the United States.