George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch captain, (self appointed) who reportedly shot and killed the teen Trayvon Martin should be cleared of all wrongdoing in the incident. Yes, things look bad for him now, after all he outweighed the teenager by 110 lbs that he pursued and gunned down. And even though he has a record of hyper-vigilante actions, patrolling the 7-11, calling the police 46 times last year alone. But he should be found innocent, after all this is Florida, cousin to Arizona where people who wear hoodies are not just suspect but we all know they are up to no good, they just aren’t indigenous to this country, and it happened in a gated community, and the police department made the call right off the bat, that the victims age and the bag of candy he had predisposed him to a life of malevolence, better to save the good taxpayers the hassle of an investigation.

But Zimmerman will be found innocent for the same reason gunslingers walked the dusty streets of the old west with impunity, they might have provoked the fight but they didn’t strike the first blow. I watch the westerns, the game is simple, a technicality will get you off every time. Bully your victim, push them into a corner, block their escape then kill them in self defense. Usually the rules include that they have a gun too, but what the heck, it’s all fictional in the land of hanging chads.

Of course by the end of Gunsmoke Marshall Dillon has set things right, locking the bully up or, more often, shooting them dead in one clean shot. We don’t get that kind of resolution here, in the land of the freely gun-toting puffed up with false bravado badge-happy bozos. Here we have court cases that drag on and eventually lead to drawn out mockeries of justice, witness OJ, Robert Blake, Robert Wagner, et al. Expect a non verdict in this matter, either way we won’t be disappointed.

(Editors note: Readers, wish this was a blithe frivolous little tidbit, but sometimes the news of the day just pisses me off.)

The Quileute tribe in the far northwest corner of Washington state have managed to pull a fast one on the federal government while the captain of the ship of state is asleep at the wheel. The Obama administration has passed legislation transferring a sizable portion of our sacred national parkland to the tribe under the auspices of protecting their schoolchildren from the threat of tsunami. The land the tribe will acquire is higher in elevation and while currently undeveloped will be used for construction of new school buildings as well as other critical structures the tribe deems necessary. We can see it now, the old school buildings, almost waterfront property, are now ripe for development as a neon-gaudy casino, some of the land transferred to the tribe will be used to build the new school, some for high-rise hotels.

The Quileute Nation  has only about 400 or so souls living on reservation lands in the remote town of La Push where it’s located. La Push and the nearby town of Forks, WA have seen an incredible growth in that form of locusts known as tourists drawn by interest in the Twilight series of books and movies, where the series is set. Rental cars and buses pour into the small town, disgorging crowds of flush visitors, who, finding nowhere to offload their purses, scuttle back into the vehicles and scurry away. The scenery there, dark luxurious woods, verdant with towering massive trees, ferns as high as a bigfoot’s withers and dark dripping mosses are frightening to these tourists, who wear blood red lipstick, pale white skin and deep kohl hued eyeshadow, even the males. To them the thick grasping forest and rugged, rocky outcropped coastline with its incessant crashing surf are the haunts of evil creatures, vampires, werewolves and other, unspeakable horrors.

Strangely, many  of the original inhabitants of the area felt the same way. The antecedents of the Quileute nation got much of their living from the sea’s bounty, they lived reasonably well flotsam, jetsam and the occasional narwhal and seldom ventured into the dark of the forest. As a pastime they gamboled, and gambled too. So the precedent was set, and casinos set to follow. The precious real estate of what is one of America’s wildest and most scenic places, Olympic National Park, is being taken away from us and bestowed so a small group can feel safe from an event that may only happen every half a millennium, if then. And the spectacular scenery, the wild indomitable coastline, the towering monoliths of some of the worlds most magnificent trees and the fragile ferns, will they all be desecrated so that palaces bedecked with flashing lights and billboards be erected? Will the susurrations  of soft mists drifting through coastal forests be replaced with the ringing of bells and the clanking of coins? Thanks to our current administration, as well as those that came before, and likely those we are likely to be saddled with in the future, we can probably look forward to the unremitting and wholesale losses of our wild heritage and the proliferation of casinos, amusement parks and entrance fees.

Famously cheap and driven Arianna Huffington not only pays peanuts and drives her editorial staff like Satan’s oarsmen, she won’t even allow her own sweet self time for a bathroom break. Don’t believe us, read the real story HERE. So whadda ya think, do you chit-chat on the throne, talk while you tinkle, gossip while you go? We can assure you that here at The Yellow Press we are not privy to such classless conduct and we treat our reporters and staff with the great dignity they deserve, just as Jonah Jameson might, they can leave their crap in private, or print it here, we don’t censor, censure or sinecure the droppings left here. Drop trou on Arianna Huffington, let her make all the noxious noises she’s always made, but by herself, and in private. We pay the same, nothing, as she does but we’ll treat you with respect. Find the link for reporters at the top of the page and join us in exposing other derrieres. We are small, very small, but everything starts somewhere and wouldn’t you rather speak to manners than porcelain?